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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Requiem for Solace

I hear the buzzing in my head
I can feel my shaking knees and my tired feet.
Going bonkers thinking of my head and all that it possesses.
Yes I had a dream - I stood beneath an orange sky.
There she goes away into the darkness.
There he goes following her fragrance - hoping that one day he can hold her.
He is tired of the miles behind.
I feel for him and for myself too.
It is a weird numb feeling on the toes you see.
A blinding light that shuts out all vision.
I don't understand him when he stands on that hill top and stares at the life beyond the trees.
I saw him trying to be all high and mighty
Knowing how clumsy he truly is
Knowing that the only way forward for him is into the abyss.
Away from all
Away from all
He wandered through the empty corridors of his head
Lit by fire flies.
They were few but they gave hope.
Here is some bright for your dark mind kind brother sir.
I heard him say it over and over again
There is something there
I can see it
Beyond the rainbow.
Beyond the stream
Beyond the snow and auroras
There is a warmth that I can feel from afar.
I would love to hold you dear
But promise me this
You will not speak to me.
Because it is difficult to hold a conversation with you with the want to hold a conversation.
It is hard enough to handle myself.
Please take care of yourself love.
You know what - I am saying this , but I know that if I had a chance to take care of you I would hold you and feel better myself.
I have not held you in a while love but I hold you each night.
I am sure you do not know that.
It is when I fly away into the sun and I see arms wide open.
You always rest your head on my chest and feel my breath on top of you.
But you see - I killed myself the other night when I said I am just another seed in a farm.
I hoped to be mutated.
And may be I am - may be it is something that is latent.

I saw that guy riding off into the sunrise to face a bleak future
Where he knew he would have noone and noone would have him.
It was indeed surprising that he knew himself.
Most people are too ignorant.
He had made his peace with it or so he made people feel.
I could sense a flame inside him still longing for acceptance.

He would fly alone and burn alone.
A naked soul in the realm of the dead.
The gaze that follows him is daunting.
But onwards he marches with his head held straight.
Ready to face a rock or a cannon.

That is when a feather crashed into his face.
And he fell into the pit.
The dark pit of stench and ruin.

I imagined his body moving slowly to its end.
And I laughed
For I knew that now he was at peace.
Now I was at peace
Because I could finally let go of him and lead a beautiful life.

My eyes were burning that morning.

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