A walk on the beach

I saw all the lonely people walking with people who they might have known.

I saw couples; cuddling; kissing& holding hands

I saw a few stars.

I was jogging and I felt thirsty.

A prostitute approaced me: "Aye Hero! Mazaa karna hai kya?"

I said: "Sorry Yaar"

And walked on; silent, lost and tired.

After a while, I closed my eyes, faced the ocean and heard the waves.

It sounds dramatic, but I could actually hear the waves and not much else.

I died that night.

It was very silent and painful.

It was more like a thud.

All of a sudden all was hollow.

There was nobody around me.

There was nothing concrete to be done.

I was not tired anymore.

I was not hungry; nor did I have a craving for a certain taste.

I sat; and I felt like crying.

All of a sudden I had nothing.

I was drifting in the air and could see my lifeless body before my eyes.

My eyes were bloody and wide open.

As if in shock.

I died that night & I saw myself.

It was actually a thud.

I know I am reiterating but there is no other way to express it.

The ground was no longer there.

Nor was there a sky.

Nor was there a vision.

Nor was there any love.

No family either.

No friends.

No sleep, no food, no recreation.

It felt meaningless.

I woke up from death the next morning.
And felt a rush of energy - the kind that is not evident physically.
That is when I realised.
Yesterday was Death.
Yesterday was Anand.

You are disgusting

I have always had a problem with conformance and destiny. It angers me. Stubbornness and goliness infuriates me. This society and all those who create it are a bunch of brainless bulbs; with only a few invisible - or some visible - gods. But this society will never allow me to leave it completely. I feel I am about to fall over the edge. And I am already falling. If I am not me - I am you, and you are disgusting.

The Aviator

He spoke of planes flying from New York to New Foundland to Ireland to Paris to Moscow to Japan to Los Angeles to New York. Very Questionable. Has much changed?

The Pain

Today I paid a person in order to save myself from the bureaucracy; also to save myself from the frustration and at the least' 4 hours of wasted time. So, this is the system. And I have finally succumbed to it. Is this real? I have been against this for a very long time and it still holds true. I still hate it. The thought of it makes me boil inside. Does the end justify the means? I was selfish. I aim to see this country free of the ridiculous. It is true - that when I die it is not going to matter; but it is just a drive to do something worthwhile with this human mind and body. I believe that I am capable of doing better than most. I see the potholes, the bureaucracy, the capitalism, the bribery, wasted time of millions of Indians, anger, fraud, frustration and disappointment manifest itself into this sorry excuse for a well oiled aspirational nation. Enforcement of law is more responsible than the law itself. A successful society rests on moral (please understand this word) responsibility. Contrary to all opinion; this responsibility needs to be a web, originating from a multitude of sources, deriving its strength based on everything around it. It is not a bottom up or a top down approach. Short term profits and short term losses influence most decisions - just like cannibals. It is difficult to get illiterate fools to come together for the common good. An educated society is successful. Although - education does not mean schooling. Education is much deeper. It is individual thoughts backed by logic. It is moral teachings by elders backed by logic. Logic is the sole reason why we are human. I paid a person today to save myself and ruin society. And exercise the saved time. And save myself from frustration.

All the lonely people

I returned 2 nights ago from Paris.
I love that city - waiting till I can go there again.
Made me sad as soon as I reached Bombay - because this city is so horribly managed.
People are sad; irritated; frustrated; etc.
I don't want to go on about this as it is endless.
I was alone in that city for 2 days.
And I mean - absolutely alone.
Traveled alone; ate alone; was stared at for being brown; smiled & laughed alone.
Very charming and romantic city.
Fell in love with La Defense, the food; the Metro; the roads.

I am finally embarking on a very different path which is causing nausea.
I believe I will make it.
I pressurize myself too much.
Take it easy Tir.
Lol.

Spoon Story

"This boy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth!"
Hell; you may even be born with a golden spoon in your mouth!
The fact that matters is - most of us are born with a spoon in our hands.
Food is not far away
Neither is your mouth.