Juggernaut

Propped up by this hook, falling to the floor
I cry my lungs out in longing memory
Memories they go by and I drain them out...
Sorrow will be upon me
And I wait to see how I shall see
I wait to see how I will see those times
When I have nothing to say and want nothing to do
When no voice can aid me and no hand can touch me
There will be such a time
It pains me to know that I am numb and
It pains me to know that I know not how I will feel
Sometimes I think that you are all that I have
And sometimes I grow tired of you as you do of me
Wheels keep moving and dismembered hands keep falling
Joking around as I sail through these seas
Knowing very well that I do not have the muscle at times
Knowing very well that I may not have any muscle sometimes
It is all an illusion and we believe in it
Comfort it gives us and we swim through these ices

I am waiting to let out a scream
That is what will help me straighten myself
And rid myself of this skin.

Walk Away

Knelt on his bed as he shook off his tire
Looking across at the girl next to him
He wore a coat, a hat and took his heart
Walking alone in the cold below...

Last night was a relief, he thought
Falling away into the darkness of belongings
He wants no attachment
And he wants no society
He wishes to live for nothing
But he always lives for something

It is love, it is ego, it is pride, it is sleep, it is intelligence.
Elusive it is... Everything is out of reach
Always and continually.

He walks alone in the cold
As his head begins to switch off
The cold air numbs the brain
No thoughts, no songs and no cries accumulate
There is room for nothing except for the quest to walk

He stops now,
And shuts his eyes, knowing very well that she is still at home
He hates her and his bed and his home and his clothes
He hates the mere thought of success
He loathes happiness
That's it!
He always loathed happiness...

With eyes shut,
He sees the flat sand and the blue water
A mountain on the horizon
And solace at the top

Passion was missing, he thought
He thought himself intelligent
And he knew that all that awaited on that mountain was peace
He longed for peace now
But he would long for happiness then

Spirals they are
Intertwined and revolting
Black and barren
Souls walk alone on them

Eyes shut
He turned around to go back
To his wife and his daughter
To his sorrow and his joy
To the belief that one day he would be dumb
To the belief that one day he would live

A Couple

I saw her in that white shirt
Her moist hair looked fine
I saw that there was nothing about her
There was nothing to her
She spoke in a loud voice
She had a proud face
She spoke rudely to the guy opposite her
He was staring at her
She was alive and sick
It was a hollow body that I saw on that scooter

I saw him wearing his shades
I saw him as he struck a pose
He spoke to his friends
He spoke about his friends
He spoke about where he was from
And how he was so humble
He was smart about it
He appeared to be above all
As he pretended not to care about others
That is how he had held her hand
I saw that he was a shell


I saw that shells get along


That is how I saw those two kissing

Losing

That punch hurt when he told me that he doesn't need me.
'Tis the same thing that she said to me.
Weary eyed I clung on to that rope.
And pulled myself up only to fall down into the dust.
Nobody owes me anything and
Nobody means anything to me
I shall always be the second choice
Unless I take control and change priorities
So I lifted the boulder
I now walk with it and at times run
Shielded and veiled with red drapes
Protecting that stone and cracked feet hurt...
An outlet it is and the agony tears my vessels
Tears through my vessels
Splashing about as I tried naked
People moved away and things moved closer
I remember thinking that I had always had things
Funny how we never care about what we have
I thought this as I broke glass with my right fist
Seems a blur
This is what I had left and run away from
This is what I am leaving and running away from
Three hours without talking

The Demon Venture

Stretched and in pain;
Everyone knows her and everyone wants her...
Elusive agony and jubilant eyes
All know her body and her sacred eyes...
Fire on a brick with an upside down clay
Crying people with open arms...
Laughing head with a tear inside.

Humoured by most and pride filled to the breast
Clutching her books and her sacred joys
Grinning faces greet her as she walks with her head down
Neck tight and back pulled
Blood down their legs
Mangled fingers and frozen hearts

Saddled with mind
Focused with glass
Thumping their hearts
Running away she was...
Black pit she fell into
To rise up with red eyes and black wings
Smitten they were
... with lightning, charred

Sorted

We lose sleep over trivial matters, in pursuit of crazy dreams. I have never been this before and hope not to be this again. There were times I remember and those times were peaceful. I do know that times will be peaceful once again, but not for sometime. There is no sense in what happens sometimes and may be you should be happy that you went through this; after all, this is what makes one's life complete isn't it? Things are never as opaque as they seem to be, we just make them to be... I may never have been certain as I am now and that is scary. I need to focus on building the stories, but somewhere, I am choosing not to. Answers always come by and they are hard to digest. But the stomach does what it does best. Remember, you need to take care of yourself because nothing is worth losing yourself to... I still look at the man in a cottage on the top of a hill and I see in him, all that humans aspire to be. Humans always want freedom from bondage and humans always want different things. That is the irony of the soft bed. There is never anybody sleeping in it...