A Child in June

It was a whisper in a vast field
The memory I had hidden away
It came back with an odd vengeance
And I recognise little of it now

The rains smell different today
As though a burden lifted from a weary earth
The air seems cleaner
It makes me light

'Tis just a rational exuberance
Like falling from the skies
There is no magic there
Only a potent promise ahead

Mischief

Was a cold, tiny hand in mine
It had found its warmth
Was a snake coiled around me
On that dead and gorgeous night.

A small wind blew
And I sensed a change in me
Scary was that forgotten feeling
But if forgotten
How could it be true?

Only time would say
If that beckoning was meant
Or was just a grain of time...
Never to be touched again
Or to be cherished forever
In a chasm deep inside
In the chasm reopened...

Hold

Most of us will have departed before we will have known
Who we are and where we would like to be
We will not have seen as much as we would have liked to
And we will have regrets.

Most of life will have passed us by and
We will pray once again
If only we could live for a bit at a younger age
Seen more and cherished more
Grasped more than we chose to.

We will have ignored that which was present
And we will have dreaded that which was not
If only we could have controlled our thoughts
Then our pains would have been subdued.

If that be the case
What purpose will this life have served...

Music

I tore a page of white to cover my scrawny face.
You shall not see the spots
For I am too scared
May be just hold onto that which is dear
Not for you to see and for you to judge
I thought I would never play it again
But I am now out of fear
And I see that I am better at it now than I ever used to be
Seemed too mechanical at first
But now seems interesting
I may never be good at it
But I can say proudly now, 'I tried.'

Penning thoughts

Writing a story today with this pen I hold
The music helps me out
Melodies and harmonies
How amusing they are!!
For they can lift an idle mind's soul
He said to me that there was nowhere but disaster
I nodded along
I cared not to believe as much
Well, it's his wish I say
And what will be will be
For now, I have to write a short story
About my mind and the peace it longs for
Won't be long before I will realise if I fit in
Let's just say that I long for my home
There are no sexual desires
There are no burning ambitions
There is, however, a want for adventure
I aim to entertain myself with these experiments
A playground, I call it at times
Sometimes I succumb to it
And I hold my head and cry out some tears
For life is perplexing
And an occasional smile makes me smile
I now walk
Or am I standing still?
Time will tell

Chaos

For all that is needed is a sliver of truth
Not through the mouth
But in one's eyes
Some old and passionate courage
Lost as it is
To the drumming of a mundane life;
Spice it up and fly all down
Snap a twig and lay beneath the clouds
Hear the snap carefully
For we have forgotten what that is.
Clenched teeth and frigid bodies
I see you now as you hold yourself together
Wary of being run over
Of being hurt and feeling pain,
Forget it all for one moment
And give way to the spirit within
Soar as you may
For you are able;
Say yes to chaos
For you are not a special seed
You will wither just as another...
Take some pictures now
For embedded in your mind they shall remain,
Long for the extremes
You will never near them
But a different horizon will be seen
For the smile within and the sights forever
Hold them close, but not too tight
For you will let go
As you will me
And you will you
Permanence is a concept
Unfounded as its utterance

Mist

All shall fade
I cried at that thought
Knowing well, that I truly believed in this.
Death is one of the most evident examples of fades...
Wait for it and live for it
We gnaw at what we hold close
Hoping so much that nothing changes.
But change is what creates entertainment.
Unwanted as it may be...
All shall fade
Hold nothing close
Step back and hold a spear
Jab at who gets close
And crush what gets dear
Better to control sorrow
Rather, its occurrence
Nothing shall remain
For all shall fade

Dust

I look into the sun
And hope for a better day
Pleasing them around me
As I kept drifting to another sky
Follow me now
She was absolutely blind
Blind in heart and free of mind
He said that he would hold my hand
When I said that I did not understand
Shutting people out
And I cried so loud
I cried so loud that night
When I saw that there is nothing there
Only building blocks made of dust
So I toil in search of something blue
Something to keep the fire alive
I'm just keeping the fire alive
There is nothing there
All I see is dust
For I see her jumping to the sky
And I see him gliding through the roads
There are people moaning everywhere
Searching for that fire
That would have laid them bare
Crazy eyes and searching gold
All that they could find was dust
There was nothing there
Except for a little hope
And a little bit of love
Joining hands they walked across the flat
Across the flat earth
Now they live in unison
Away from prying eyes
Away from prying eyes
In their house made of dust

Juggernaut

Propped up by this hook, falling to the floor
I cry my lungs out in longing memory
Memories they go by and I drain them out...
Sorrow will be upon me
And I wait to see how I shall see
I wait to see how I will see those times
When I have nothing to say and want nothing to do
When no voice can aid me and no hand can touch me
There will be such a time
It pains me to know that I am numb and
It pains me to know that I know not how I will feel
Sometimes I think that you are all that I have
And sometimes I grow tired of you as you do of me
Wheels keep moving and dismembered hands keep falling
Joking around as I sail through these seas
Knowing very well that I do not have the muscle at times
Knowing very well that I may not have any muscle sometimes
It is all an illusion and we believe in it
Comfort it gives us and we swim through these ices

I am waiting to let out a scream
That is what will help me straighten myself
And rid myself of this skin.

Don't Worry... Be Crappy...

Pink stones at the top of the hill...
Gathering them one at a time.
People walking in circles at the time of noon
Squawk goes the bird and pretty smiles come about.
Fear nothing
Fear nothing
Hold nothing for too long.
Never lose yourself and keep experimenting - said the wise man.
Rigid beliefs he had and he held his head high.
Shaking his legs for he was restless.
Pendulum he saw swaying from here to beyond.
Yes!
That's what he said.
For he believed that all is lost for nothing is ever there.
Eeee Haw !!!
Find the fire!
He beckoned.
He laughed at her for she had lost herself
But then she saw that small child playing with the ball
She said then, as she made up her mind.
She said then... I shall stand up for myself and rid myself of this stupid boss.
Anger and frustration.
Boy looks up at the man he is
And the changed friend he found today.
Adios amigo!
Some other time...
For I have other things on my mind.
For I have too much to run after.
The most significant of which is love.
Love for myself.
Love for my beliefs and my endless pursuits to the depths of that dark pit.
Flowers around.
Rain pours down upon hapless souls.
Screaming for mercy they were.
And then said the gymnosophist...
He said something profound.
He said something that had never been heard.
It was laughter.
Wait
Stop
Hear that again.
It was laughter.
Have you laughed today O sad being?
Worry not, for there are demons around.
Worry not, for there are angels flying.
Worry, only for the lost you.
Worry that you have lost you.
Worry that you have lost you...
Worry about sanity.