Clock-unwise

I'm staring at the second-hand on an old wooden clock
Ticking away ruthlessly
My body twitches
For I want to use time well
But is it for me to control?
I sail everyday just like you do
And I breathe once in a while
Just to realize that now is alright
And then might never come to me
It isn't that complex if I choose to take a step back...
Just one tiny step
And I look at their backs
And their heads bowed down
Hiding a frown...
Carpe Diem - said a voice
It was a child on the ground
Seizing... not clutching...
It's easy to be swept away with the crowd
It's easy to be broken down
It's easier to take a small step back

The Demon Venture

Stretched and in pain;
Everyone knows her and everyone wants her...
Elusive agony and jubilant eyes
All know her body and her sacred eyes...
Fire on a brick with an upside down clay
Crying people with open arms...
Laughing head with a tear inside.

Humoured by most and pride filled to the breast
Clutching her books and her sacred joys
Grinning faces greet her as she walks with her head down
Neck tight and back pulled
Blood down their legs
Mangled fingers and frozen hearts

Saddled with mind
Focused with glass
Thumping their hearts
Running away she was...
Black pit she fell into
To rise up with red eyes and black wings
Smitten they were
... with lightning, charred

My Daughter

I saw her smiling in her little dress, 3 years old she was. Running wildly and grinning a huge smile. She knelt down to pick up flowers; did something extraordinary then... She smelt them. Too long since I'd done that I thought... How did she manage to know that there is a distinct smell to them?
I saw, in an instant, my dreams in her face; my dreams, which I had ignored in favour of my shell and all that came with it. My dreams used to arise from impulse and gut feel, they used to poke out like a trampoline in a trough. What I did was to the contrary...
I went into that trough, dug a little deeper and built myself an environment where I would be safe. I had ignored most of what I had done up until then, because I felt that I needed to start over. I remember crying in that dry pool till an oasis sprouted. I remember uprooting grass and shoots.
When I saw my child, I saw that the most natural thing for man to do is to enjoy life. Enjoyment; how little we think of that notion. Could not remember when last I had left my worries behind... And there she was, careless and glowing.
I cried then. I had not cried in too long... not since my oasis. Not since I had built that space to mechanical expectations. It was a welcome relief to feel my heart so heavy, for it gave me a feeling that I too could change.
She held my hand and I got frustrated because, well, this girl was on a roll! She brought out in me, a fatherhood that I had never quite understood. All of a sudden I was overcome with weakness. Years of building had left no time for questioning myself. I felt weak, but I felt happy.
Kids bring out the best in us because we see in them, what we should be.
We see in them, what we can be.
There are individuals, there are followers, there are leaders, there are ignorants and then there are kids...

My train ride

The train came up, speeding as it always does...
It stopped before me and motioned to me " Hop aboard !"
I said "OK"
The train was going back to where I belonged...
I thought to myself whether there was anything I was going back to...

May be the dark volcanoes, may be the bright skies, may be the tender arms and may be the brilliant smile.
I leave behind, the far meadows, the lonely house, the naked bed, the rat and the toil.
What shall change?

My independence and my focus.
May be it will give me a slightly different perspective and I may come back, a changed man.
One thing is bound to change - and that is the equation that has persisted for so long.

I sleep in the train now and I remember all that I want to achieve.
I also see that there is nothing great in what I want to achieve.
Most probably, the crux of the entire 'achievement' story is:

Enough to live comfortably with my witch.
Enough to look into the eyes of the man in the mirror and say:
"So I am capable; Bah!!"
Develop some pride in the haystack that I create.
Go home to my dirty witch with her ragged hair and foul breath and say:
"You are fantastic, you witch!!! Let's go for brunch tomorrow"

The fires and the pits that the train now passes, reminds me of the days gone by when there were people huddled around the master waiting for his command and doing such to earn what. Doing such because life home was valued more than the life in the volcanic mine where lava was transformed to earth.

The monster always cried foul when one of its slaves seemed tired, lazy, reluctant or impotent. The monster never understood that humans shall always cry. The monster never understood that his cave was empty and that his earth was of no great use. Yes, he wanted his own piece of land - and so he had achieved. But his battle was singular now and his victory was partially shared. The monster cried each night when he sat with himself. The monster became numb. The monster was human after all.


All of a sudden, the bridge gave way and the crystalline water below came nearer to mine eyes. I was drunk and I was senile, I tried to fly away but my wings did not spring out. I cried, for I wanted to kiss the witch one last time. Alas, the witch would never know. The three little pigs would never know. The 3 member bear family would never know. I would never know.
"There goes a life un-lived!! There goes an illusion!!!
There passes an eccentric goblin!!! There we see a nuisance to mankind!!!"

Here I lie

I saw her walking on the street below flanked by her 2 friends.
Brutes they were as they held her soft hand.
Snow and ice controlled the land around.
The land that used to be road and pavement.
She smiled, or so it seemed.
There was no smile underneath though.
She was being dragged along.
But it was not apparent.
There was something that gave it away.
May be I just have a thing for reading faces.
I heard her call for help.
I saw another girl approach these three humans.
I must say that she was gorgeous.
Which may be why I saw drool dripping down the 2 guys' faces.
Let go her hand and held the gorgeous.
The angel now smiled.
So did the messiah.
Lo and behold! How appearances change in an instant.
For take note - that there is nothing that is real.
Everything is a belief.
The 2 brutes were in fact troblins - a hybrid of trolls and goblins.
Troblins are a reminder of the human race that inhabited the earth many years ago.
The angel was a dark knight being held prisoner - on her way to the shadow castle.
Her end there was sacrifice to the smoke gods.
The messiah was of the lineage of Galtden - far offspring from the families of John Galt and Hank Rearden, the ones who saved the human race (for a while)
The angel smiled and the messiah laughed.
The troblins fled and the 2 remaining souls on that very street locked in a strong embrace.
Life had changed for me when I saw this.
I now go back to my cave.
I now go back to my identity and my venture.
I am in pursuit of happiness.
May be I just saw it.
That which seems to be not in control, but in fact is.

The Sun, The Stars and The Boy

The sun shone brightly at high noon.
A small kid stood naked to the skin staring up at the yellow.
"Why do you shine O mighty yellow?"
"Why do you give hope when all I have are my skin and bones?"
"Who are you to throw light when not a morsel enters my mouth, when just a few drops go down my throat?"
Disgusted and appalled at the ego that the sun held - the kid wandered off into the jungle.
In the midst of the the thick brown he sat and ate the fruits.
Alone and shattered - the boy wondered what his purpose was.
He had it all once upon a time.
But he left it all.
So disenchanted was he that the had no hook to hold on with.
He left all to come and stand naked under the sun.
He would cry too much and hope for too much.


That particular day, he slept till the night came up.
He yawned and jumped to see the stars of the night.
So brilliant they seemed - alone and scattered - but all the same.
Like a great family that served no purpose other than to fulfil a collective need; to suffice other beings.
The little boy jumped up and down for a light held him that moment.
He jumped up and down and grew tired.

He spoke to the stars, "You give so much, and want nothing for yourself."
"I believe I love you - but you shall also leave me"
"I do not like it that you are so far away."
"Come closer and spend your life with me"

The next morning the wicked sun came up to the boy
"I am sorry to have hurt you yesterday - but the truth is; I was the star you spoke to last night and I am the sun you speak to right now."
"I change everyday to suit people's wishes."
"I am not yours to hold"
"I belong only to me"

A strange encounter of the love kind

I saw the black sails as they came ashore; carrying the beacon of all that could annihilate. A form crept out and dragged its many feet across the blue sand to stand in front of me. There it stood - the colossal being with its saliva and sweat pouring on me like rain. A shadow that hid all light. I saw in its eyes the dirt that had accumulated over the past many years. With its large puffy hands it groped to catch hold of me. The ignorant fool that I was - I offered no resistance. I felt the air leave my body and I felt my limbs go numb. I could sense the throbbing of my brain so precisely that I knew each nerve ending. All that had passed - I could see now before me. All that lay forth I could predict with distinction. I heard its heavy steps as it took me through the sand that wanted us engulfed inside. It took me across and threw me onto the wretched ship. I gathered myself and put forth my hand - shaking and shivering with the adrenaline bursting through my vessels. She grabbed my hand and it seemed softer now. I pulled her from the sand from where she emerged glowing in white. Her hair glistened in the sun and her cheeks shone brighter than the galaxy that surrounded us. I held her in my arms and looked at the elegant ship and the comforts it offered. She opened her eyes and saw me there. She cried for help and I stood horrified. Tears running down her cheeks and her body swaying without support. I fell from the ship and died on my way to the ocean floor. Rumour has it that the being had sand in her eyes and brain that clouded her thoughts. She saw something that was not there. She felt something that was not there. She failed to see me as I stood there.