A Rebirth

What happened to those things inside me?
Where did my melancholy go?
I remember myself
And yet that is still me
Could it be real this alchemy
That has calmed me down
To a feeling I have never known
And yet could it be
That I value it not
This lightness of being
This health in my mind
And this joy of my new dance
What happened to the clouds?
What happened to the brooding silences?
May be it was somebody else
May be somebody stole me

Relations

Would there be a strain without them?
What is it to stay just there?
Too many people have failed she says
And yet they strive
To stick to the ways of old
Why must they keep themselves?
In the chains of rust
The neglect of the artists
Will one day take their toll
Fear the future
Where they stay in belief
And ignore truth

Return'd

A week goes by without an eyelid bat'd
Soon a month and then a year
As she jived across that room night last
I asked if time had slowed down
In the morn, there was a change
Time was slower still
The scent of a spice lingered longer
And, once again, people seemed antish
It was time to stop
And look at the pastures
And the rocks looking down on me
And take pride in my creations.

Behold!

If I walked into your eyes
And sang a little word
And I meant it not at all
With lies on my face
Would you think of me the world
Or would you cry with shame unrestrained

There are places in this land
That I have seen not yet
There are sights of horizons vast
That I have sighed at not yet
With you I hope to walk
Onto a dusty path soon
Until the day that dawns
When swallowed I am whole
Into a fiery inferno
Of commitments torturous
To rest on my back
With a heavy leaded heart
And drown in the air I breathe

With the hope that nothing happens

A letter for my love

Your history speaks of you
Things have changed and
You are a product of what has happened
In time gone by

Your ignorant mind
Thinks the world of what is today
And hurries forward
In pursuit of a perfect dream

There are things
That haunt you even today
When you sit up in bed
And think of what may

You have lost belief
In what you feel today
And you are fooled
By the horrors of the past

What happens now you ask?
The same that has been
A warm promise
And a rested mind

A Child in June

It was a whisper in a vast field
The memory I had hidden away
It came back with an odd vengeance
And I recognise little of it now

The rains smell different today
As though a burden lifted from a weary earth
The air seems cleaner
It makes me light

'Tis just a rational exuberance
Like falling from the skies
There is no magic there
Only a potent promise ahead

A Tuesday Evening

Globes of white shone up
There was wonder
And there was a longing
Two lines quivered in red
And a space between was found
Caressed softly in that enclosed space 

Snails

A city can smell its inhabitants
When I saw her speaking through her smile
About 'her city' as she called it
I saw all that the dregs hoped for
And all that the elite strove for

It's odd that wind is invisible
And yet it knocks at us
Prying into our innards
And hoping for some respite
From this city it visits ever so often

There is nothing to live for
And yet, amidst the drear
A shining face with bright eyes
Awakens in us, hope from our hopes past
To live in peace
While people toil by

Oh can it be?

fight it off as though your life depended on it
the wind could be knocked out of you by now
no and never

run like a breeze and if you legs ache
say that it's all in your mind
your legs might be chopped off
before the season changes

are you still afraid of being who you are
so you can hold on to that last thread
of belonging based on who you aren't
well, it doesn't matter now does it
things will change and
you will crash soon

i can hear your heart slow down
and i can see your eyes cry down
things are changing and
there is nothing you can do
no and never

there was sand once where i stand now
and as you can see
the ocean is around me now
things change my love
and i must disappoint you
once again

The World Ahead

All I can do
Is write a few words
As I see the white moon
Above my head
So far away
Looking down on me

When I think of the blue
In the sky beyond
And I think of the distances
Beyond me and farther
I smile a little
At what there is

It is here for now
This life that I can give
An honest word
With an honest look
This life that will leave
When time decided to stop

And all I can do
Is look back
At what I missed
And what I chose
In this life of mine
I chose to make complete

I forget today
All my deep sorrows
And all my fears
As I stare away
At all that I can't see

I cherish today
For all that it gave me
Which will soon be taken
But it is mine for now

All I can do
Is hope for a breath
And a peaceful thought
When it is given to me
And is given by me

Love me one time

He lived a full life, it was what he had wanted since his brain started working. He said things he meant and he abstained from mindless murmur. He made a few friends and held them dear - but oddly they left him, one after another. But the stock found its way of being replenished. And thus, life went on - it was an adventure each day. It was a normal life lived in a normal way - he found his love, he made her his wife and they lived together until the day she died. And as it goes, the grass was always greener on the other side - marriage was ordinary, but his time with her was beautiful. Each day, for him, was worth a gold coin and more. Each touch was cherished and he remembered forever the first day he saw her. He spoke clearly and never thought of leaving her. There were troubled times and there were fights but he knew he wanted to wake up with her every day. But as is the law of life - one day it left her and when he looked upon that cold body he remembered the day he first saw her and how she looked when she cried with anger; he remembered the time when it was 3 am and he woke up to see her sleeping soundly, he remembered hearing her voice after a gap of a few days. He had lived a life without regret. It amazed him how he could sit with a friend and not think of her, but how he longed for a glimpse of her before leaving home the next day.

He wrote in his diary that I found, that he was a romantic. He never gifted and he was never extraordinary. He was honest and caring. He loved each breath of air that filled his lungs, he loved the smell of his wife's hair, he loved the ability of his senses and he loved the world around him. He cared for a lot of things and it amused him always, how people seemed to be ignorant of all that was gorgeous. He knew things would change - they have a way of doing so - but he never knew it would happen so soon.

He got married when he was 29 and his wife died when he was 35. Of course, it took him with surprise - but what could he do? Bite down hard and be afraid of all that he missed?!
He spoke then on about how people ought to cherish those grand things that are just taken for granted. It got through to many but stayed with very few - he marked how people have a way of just being comfortable with a false sense of security. Oddly, it works well for most. But why did she leave him?!

He lived a full life... he lived alone after her demise and he longed for her touch and her voice.
He lived to 78 and he died peacefully with a few friends around him. They were usually around - some new and some old, but all cared for him even though they found him a tad bit boring.
It amazed him that he couldn't find anybody else - he was open to the idea but he loved her still.
Funny how some people are - hopelessly romantic.
They die alone but they never live alone.

Mischief

Was a cold, tiny hand in mine
It had found its warmth
Was a snake coiled around me
On that dead and gorgeous night.

A small wind blew
And I sensed a change in me
Scary was that forgotten feeling
But if forgotten
How could it be true?

Only time would say
If that beckoning was meant
Or was just a grain of time...
Never to be touched again
Or to be cherished forever
In a chasm deep inside
In the chasm reopened...

Seated

A cloudy day
When I looked at my hands
And I brought them near
I rest my head in them
And thought back at what was
It does not make sense now
How that time passed me by...

Oft have we felt that
Time is evil
And yet it heals
I could smell in my palms
The burden of my life before
And yet
As I stand now
I see that life has changed
And my mind is at rest
Staring time in its stride

My Home

See my hand
It finds your flow
I could not care
For the people below
Your smile makes me think
Of a day not too long ago
When the wind blew cold
As I lay by the shore
Of a sleepy old village
Where I felt alone
Sipping on my water
And felt a chill in my bone
Was a long time ago that
When the time was well
When I felt nothing lacking
'cept a grind in my shell
'tis a story so often said
Of a man who found his lady
But nothing can take away from me
The scent of being so free
As you tighten your grip
And fall into your smile
And I let go
To leave you for a while
I look back at your figure
At rest after a day so long
I feel you from afar
And think of this song

Turn

I awoke today to the sound of thunder
It shook me because it was sunny outside
I sat confused
And rubbed my eyes
Could the sound have come from within?

I awoke today to a sparkling light
My world had changed
And nobody stood around
And nobody understood
But I made my peace with it

I felt a jab in my chest
A dagger tried to get through me
I wrestled it
And soon it was thrown
I sat alone and had my breakfast

I smiled when I awoke today
Nothing happened
Nothing

Blade

A shade on her skin was drawn over her well worn face
Her eyes glistened in the sun which was above me

He spit a spit while blathering across the table
While she sat humbled by his intelligence

Her soft skin made him long for a touch
His bristles rubbed against her supple exterior

Come hither into my realm
Where everything is by itself
Where lives are lived
And I will teach you the way
The way of the world that has long been forgotten
Where the grass is still green
And where people still do nothing
And yet their hearts beat deafeningly

It is my paradise
And it is in my head
I know that the exterior will give away
And I know that youth will again be longed for
But this earth breathes a new life each moment
It is my paradise
And I am willing to share it

Shot

It took her a second to see past me
And this was many years ago
With her guy by her side
She said naught to me
But may be she see saw not me
If ever there were reasons to doubt
Her smile would be it
For lights follow her twinkle
And make me smile
And step at the rhythm
There were flakes in her palms
The residue of that which she gave me
An entire life
In one fell word
She will never leave me
The night behind the stars

The Universe

I could see it in her eyes as she stood before me
She was kind and sincere
Fate had brought us together again
But I saw she was ready not...
It ached my heart but what can one do against such forces...?
She drew herself away as I uttered words of farewell
She still retained that slight of her smile
And at that moment, I hoped against reality
That this was not true
That this was not the end
That I would see those eyes again

I said this last night
As I lay awake in bed
Thinking of her
And now the thought knocks at me
Should I call out to her just once more
Or let her stay in my thoughts for today
And for tomorrow...

As goes the sky

Have you heard about that man by the bridge?
He shouted each day
He yelled that the world had left him
All thought of him insane
What would happen if indeed he jumped?
Another life would be lost they said
What would happen to his loving lady then?
Well, she would find someone new after a while eh...
At this thought the skies darkened
A thunder was heard from far away
Took a while to register with them
But when it did
The bridge was not there
Things had passed
As they should have
Oh! I left my clothes in the dryer said one...
Trampling feet went by
The girl stood alone
Before she spotted a lovely red dress in the shop window
A chime rung and a word uttered.

Some basic truths said by a child.

Large eyes popped out from the white clouds that hung overhead.
They gazed at the world below.
All seemed at ease.
And all seemed perfect.
May be all was perfect...

But in a corner of a lonely house sat a lady.
She was young, around 24 years of age.
It was a questionable age, full of confusion and deceit.
She wailed alone in that dark room.
For her sobs could not be heard.
And down he came from the clouds, in the guise of a child.
Tapping her on the shoulder, he startled her.
Noticing only a boy, the girl found comfort in his innocence.
The boy asked the girl, " Who are you? "

The girl did not have an answer.
She did not have an answer, because, when the boy asked that question - she knew that that which is evident was never asked.
The girl was alone because she just completed a marathon, where she fell before the finish line.
The girl was alone because she fell from the sky without a parachute.
She was alone for she had no shoulder to cry on.
She was alone for she had not a reason to wake up each morning.

She had not cried before, because she had not questioned before!

The girl countered the boy with a mundane question.
"Why must we look presentable?"
Boy: "Do we? Hmmm. If you say so."

"Why must I take care of my body? Is it only to please the eyes of the lecherous?"
Boy: "O no! You do it because you believe that inadvertently you will attract suitable beings. You ought to do it, because a healthy body allows a healthy function of the mind."

"Why do we have to earn money?"
Boy: "It is a means to attain that which is desired. It could be food or convenient food, it could be a house or a home, it could be work or a utilised life. Your eyes are yours and your mind is yours."

"Why do we need companions?"
Boy: "That is one question that even I have had trouble with. The thing is, one does not necessarily need companions. But the society has evolved in such a way that after a while, two things happen.

One - you want to come home to somebody, either to fulfill romantic / sexual indulgences or to fulfill emotional holes.
Two - Option one has developed from the fact that after a while, single people find other people - because that is the way of society. So if you have friends right now and if you want to meet them - - it's all good.
But after a while, when they are with their respective companions, you cannot be an odd number in the group, and you cannot ask one to leave the other so that the one can be with you.
It is a sad truth. I also believe that romance and love and fidelity are secondary. The primary is the fact that you need to get yourself a good companion for as long as possible.
It is one of the easiest, and troublesome paths that one must adopt."

"Why must I believe in god?"
Boy: "O that one is simple - one believes because one wants to believe. It is easier to believe than not to believe. Does god exist? How do I know? I just know that the clouds are fabulous."

"Why is there a pursuit of excellence, be it in terms of wealth, power, materialism, intellect or even vanity?"
Boy: "It is the way of the world O wonderful girl. What makes you different, makes you special. With all that we try to shun the without, it is the without that we are a part of. One may keep believing that the individual is superior, but the individual is an individual because he / she is a subset of the whole.
Of course, there are anomalies, and these outliers are the ones that are the true great.
Do you know any of these anomalies? I don't.
The great beings of the past many years have been close to that title, but because they are known, they are not the ones."

"How do I stop crying?"
Boy: " You already have. As soon as your mind is preoccupied with something, sorrow leaves you. "

"Well, yes... you're right! Thank you!!!"
Boy: ""

Know not what you ought to do to become someone you want to.
Do what you feel.
It is a fine balance amongst the ignorant, the intellectuals and the insane.